just some thinking out loud/letting people in...comments are welcome. I could use some help.
So last night I discovered that I didn't have nights and evenings on my phone anymore- it must have run out without me noticing- as during a conversation the wonderful Telus Lady came on and said I only a minute remaining. That would be fine and all, if I hadn't just put $25 on my account Friday! Needless to say, I don't really have any more money to put add to my phone account at the moment. So no phone means no contact with home, which means no more money... and a vicious circle. This also means I haven't talked to my landlord, who wants rent money, which I don't have. Again, another call home would fix this...And James', my roomate, returned today, adding to the pressure of "Why haven't you paid rent yet?"
So that was one way of procrastinating going home: I have no phone, so I can't call home to get money. I use procrastination loosely, as the real reason is something I don't understand fully. Some would say lazy, as that's how it could appear, but it's not (I don't think). Maybe lack of motivation? A deterant laying ahead? An issue I don't want to deal with?
Today I have started dealing (somewhat) with going home. I went to R&M's to use their phone, and rack up their phone bill. I found out insurance is an easy thing to fix. I had been using this as an easy form of "procrastination", and it was just a simple phone call to ICBC. And they said it would only take a simple fax to be insured. So step 1 is complete. Step 2, a phone call home.
I waited to talk to Dad, instead of Grandpa, tonight as I figured it would be easier. It the past, he seemed eager to get me home.
He asked where I was, as if I had made it somewhere else... yeah...with no job, no car insurance and no money. Remember, you guys only gave me rent money last month? and told me to just eat everything left in my kitchen so I wouldn't have to pack it? No?
Well, he can't help; income tax cleaned him out. So that means another call home, in the morning, to Gramps. You would think after 8 months of required rent payments, someone whould figure a pattern. Oh well, I hope he is more enthused for get me home. I'll let you know how that goes tomorrow.
and on with the night, I was treated to dinner, drinks, and a stogie from Rob, and videogames with the guys. sitting around chatting, I had urges to stay here...why go home. Everyone else is staying this summer, people are planning great things, the weather is already better than last year, I apparently belong here, I could be worknig in days from now for decent coin (ie, not min. wage).
The only down sides are: no home, likely no wheels right away, no racing, no car fun, no family (though my mom isn't there anyways), no best friend, and a place I haven't had the greatest experience for the last 3 months.
The cons of going home though, are a little different. In addition to not having the pros of being in Edmonton, there is living with my Dad (I'm currently seeing this as a con...just a hunch), and a whole lot less friends. This is all I have come up with, as I don't want to think about it too much, as this is still the more likely and why look negatively at my future summer?
So I thought, "Why am I going home in the first place?"
Is there something I'm missing here in the last few months that make it worth leaving? And can I find it at home?
Do I really need cars in my life to be happy? It is the one thing I have been missing for almost a year.
I can't go for a drive to get away when I'm moody, no driving around for a source of entertainment, no mode of transportation to do other things. These things though don't require going home, just having my car insured.
But what about my hobby of working on cars...that's something that I can't get here. That requires home.
And racing...only Calgary around here, and CART this July.
And friends I've missed? Shawn and his brother are the only two people I look forward to seeing in town, and therefore on a regular, spur of the moment basis. There's potential for more, and I have been good lately at meeting new people... I did hear an old friend should be back for the summer, I just haven't talked to her in years. And there is always the 510 crew in the big city, but that requires planning and a lot of driving, usually saved for weekends. And there are others scattered throughout the Valley. Again, more distance, which means driving and planning.
I'm tired. g'night.
So last night I discovered that I didn't have nights and evenings on my phone anymore- it must have run out without me noticing- as during a conversation the wonderful Telus Lady came on and said I only a minute remaining. That would be fine and all, if I hadn't just put $25 on my account Friday! Needless to say, I don't really have any more money to put add to my phone account at the moment. So no phone means no contact with home, which means no more money... and a vicious circle. This also means I haven't talked to my landlord, who wants rent money, which I don't have. Again, another call home would fix this...And James', my roomate, returned today, adding to the pressure of "Why haven't you paid rent yet?"So that was one way of procrastinating going home: I have no phone, so I can't call home to get money. I use procrastination loosely, as the real reason is something I don't understand fully. Some would say lazy, as that's how it could appear, but it's not (I don't think). Maybe lack of motivation? A deterant laying ahead? An issue I don't want to deal with?
Today I have started dealing (somewhat) with going home. I went to R&M's to use their phone, and rack up their phone bill. I found out insurance is an easy thing to fix. I had been using this as an easy form of "procrastination", and it was just a simple phone call to ICBC. And they said it would only take a simple fax to be insured. So step 1 is complete. Step 2, a phone call home.
I waited to talk to Dad, instead of Grandpa, tonight as I figured it would be easier. It the past, he seemed eager to get me home.
He asked where I was, as if I had made it somewhere else... yeah...with no job, no car insurance and no money. Remember, you guys only gave me rent money last month? and told me to just eat everything left in my kitchen so I wouldn't have to pack it? No?Well, he can't help; income tax cleaned him out. So that means another call home, in the morning, to Gramps. You would think after 8 months of required rent payments, someone whould figure a pattern. Oh well, I hope he is more enthused for get me home. I'll let you know how that goes tomorrow.
and on with the night, I was treated to dinner, drinks, and a stogie from Rob, and videogames with the guys. sitting around chatting, I had urges to stay here...why go home. Everyone else is staying this summer, people are planning great things, the weather is already better than last year, I apparently belong here, I could be worknig in days from now for decent coin (ie, not min. wage).
The only down sides are: no home, likely no wheels right away, no racing, no car fun, no family (though my mom isn't there anyways), no best friend, and a place I haven't had the greatest experience for the last 3 months.
The cons of going home though, are a little different. In addition to not having the pros of being in Edmonton, there is living with my Dad (I'm currently seeing this as a con...just a hunch), and a whole lot less friends. This is all I have come up with, as I don't want to think about it too much, as this is still the more likely and why look negatively at my future summer?
So I thought, "Why am I going home in the first place?"Is there something I'm missing here in the last few months that make it worth leaving? And can I find it at home?
Do I really need cars in my life to be happy? It is the one thing I have been missing for almost a year.
I can't go for a drive to get away when I'm moody, no driving around for a source of entertainment, no mode of transportation to do other things. These things though don't require going home, just having my car insured.
But what about my hobby of working on cars...that's something that I can't get here. That requires home.
And racing...only Calgary around here, and CART this July.
And friends I've missed? Shawn and his brother are the only two people I look forward to seeing in town, and therefore on a regular, spur of the moment basis. There's potential for more, and I have been good lately at meeting new people... I did hear an old friend should be back for the summer, I just haven't talked to her in years. And there is always the 510 crew in the big city, but that requires planning and a lot of driving, usually saved for weekends. And there are others scattered throughout the Valley. Again, more distance, which means driving and planning.
I'm tired. g'night.
